"Stutter as I muttered a startling repetitious phrase..."

I would give anything to rid myself of the sickness in my gut. And I was doing so well. I've gotta say though, I'm impressed, it's been years and I thought it would get easier at some point, but it hasn't. I know you must be happy with yourself. You're looking down laughing, glad it's not you stuck here missing me. Some days I wish it were me, but I would never wish for you to feel this way.

I'm sorry I'm still so bitter; I've gotten a lot better at hiding it. I'm going to have to go pro today if I'm going to accomplish anything at all, and I have to work in less than two hours.

This is the hardest time of the year for me. I feel selfish because there are so many amazing people's birthdays in the time span of my sick mourning. Did you really have to drag it out for so long? I mean, I know you never did anything half way, but come on... 11 days? Really? How do you expect me to focus on anything else? Attention whore. As if you ever had to try.

God damn I love you. And I miss you. More than oxygen, not that I know what it's like to live without that; you were supposed to wake up and tell me all about it... I'm still waiting.

"And as the tides retreat,

I see the smile you see today.

To own a heart that's half of yours..."

Throwing punches at ocean waves.