On Spreading Hope & Seeing Cars

𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐮𝐲 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 (𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮) 𝐜𝐚𝐫 𝐨𝐫 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐬𝐞𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞?

I mean, surely it’s not that the universe has conspired to make sure everyone bought one at the same time you did so you wouldn’t feel alone right? No, you’re just more aware of them than you were before. On a subconscious level, you’re now seeking them out.

That’s what’s been happening to me lately, but with opening myself up to my ability to help people. I’ve been reading, researching, filling my brain with all the ways I CAN make a positive impact instead of continuing to cower in fear of embarrassment or rejection.

I tend to stay quiet for months at a time because I NEED to be adored and someone somewhere is going to find something they don’t like about me and they’re going to pick me apart- they’re going to prove to me and everyone else that I’m a fake; that I don’t have the right to be teaching anyone about anything. So if I just stay curled up in my little corner of the world where no one sees or hears me, I can’t let them down. I can’t be less than expected. I can’t be mediocre or less informed or less witty.

But you know what else I can’t do when I’m hiding out? I can’t inspire people. I can’t help them to understand complex things in a way that makes sense for them. I can’t remind people how incredible and capable they are. I can’t empower people to make the best decisions for THEIR unique situation.

By living in a constant crippling state of fear that someone will “defraud” me, I’m denying myself of the joy I feel from making a real positive impact on those around me and in turn, I deny others my gifts.

I’m not the expert of anything. I’m not a social media guru or a spiritual guide and I don’t have any desire to be, but every interaction between people matters and if there’s any chance that something I’m tempted NOT to say could potentially give ONE person just a little glimmer of hope, just the tiniest nudge to keep on going... I’m going to do it.

𝙄𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙖𝙙𝙚 𝙞𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙛𝙖𝙧, 𝙄 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝙄 𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙘𝙞𝙖𝙩𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙙𝙤 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙞𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙤 𝙙𝙤.